Joy. Pain. Excitement. Suffering. I feel it all.

I’m also a communicator. I have to talk about it. I have to talk through it. Whether I’m talking through it with my husband, or talking through it with God, on paper.

Like this right here, this post, this is me communicating my emotions today.

I write out my thoughts and feelings, as if I’m telling God about it all, and as I make my way through my own thoughts, down this page, God reveals himself to me.

I find at the end of all of this what He wants me to take out of my emotions.

So today, today, I’m feeling pain. I’m feeling discomfort. I’m feeling sadness. Frustration. Today, I am scared.

It all stems from a dark, evil friend, who isn’t a friend at all, named Endometriosis. I call her “endo” for short.

She has haunted me since the beginning of womanhood. I didn’t call her by name until I was 21. She is far from friendly, and unfortunately we’re in it together for the long haul.

It wasn’t long ago that I thought her curse was stronger than the hope I had. I thought that because of her, I would forever have a barren womb. But, God’s power is far greater than her curse. Now I have two beautiful babies that have come from my womb. The pain she had caused me, for those 9 months, were forgotten.

Unfortunately, not long after we welcomed our two beauties into this world, she returned, not skipping a beat. She leaves me wondering what my future will hold, if my womb will ever hold a child again….

How quickly I have forgotten….

All I wanted was to hold a child that was half me and half my husband. And, here I am spending each and everyday with TWO children that are just that. We are blessed beyond measure.

In these days of pain, I have to feel it all, I have to work through it all. I have to work through the physical pain, and I have to work through the emotional pain.

The curses of this sinful world will be here until the end of it all. Endometriosis being mine and quite possibly yours too. But, this I know, God’s hope shines brighter. His light breaks up the darkness. I will not allow the evil one to use this for my downfall, but I WILL ALLOW the Creator to use this for HIS GLORY.

No matter what your curse may be, YOU HAVE A CHOICE. A choice to let it break your faith, or a choice to let it make your faith. Our suffering can be used for good.

I pray that this will bring hope to someone out there in need of it. God works in ways we can’t understand. But, allowing Him to speak through our pain and suffering, and being obedient to His callings will bring hope and healing to ourselves and to others.

Through this, I know, God is working. May my pain today that led me to feel and to communicate, bring HOPE to you.

Always, in Jesus name.

I am at rest in God alone;

My salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

My stronghold; I will never be shaken.

Trust in him at all times, you people;

Pour out your hearts before him.

God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:1-2,8

The post Emotions, endometriosis, honesty, and hope. May the pain not be in vain. appeared first on Rachel Granstra - The American Farm Wife.